I only use the Internet for buying birdseed and watching porn

camilicy:

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Would u buy his tangerines ? 🍊

作成者
dogsdoingpplthings:
“ hello carol this is jill from life alert i need u 2 stay where u r help will arrive soon
”

dogsdoingpplthings:

hello carol this is jill from life alert i need u 2 stay where u r help will arrive soon

作成者

thebadmovie:

problemsleuth:

[1920′s gangster voice] every single one’a you’s…… every single one’a you’s is valid…….

t’anks boss 

作成者
sarlisart:
“cow
”
作成者

ink-the-artist:

Grocery shopping

作成者
作成者

punknerdmusings:

ardatli:

archaeo-geek:

kyraneko:

bitterfuckinglesbian:

bitterfuckinglesbian:

people should just embrace jewel tones already if I see one more house entirely decorated in washed out neutral colours I’m gonna sue someone

hell is not a fiery demon pit its a never ending white and cream minimalist apartment, every time someone paints a room entirely white and adds a pale blue throw cushion for “a splash of colour” they are carrying out the work of the devil

#fuck resale values my mental health comes first

Writing one’s home-nesting tendencies around resale value is itself playing into the Devil’s hands.

Paint your walls. Install catwalks for your kitties. Transform your home into a hobbit-hole or the innermost chambers of a D&D dungeon owned by a particularly campy lich. Grow a rainforest of plants in your southern-exposure window rooms or strangle your house in vines.

Horrify the Petunia Dursleys of the world by your mere existence, and be happy.

A while ago Facebook kept trying to advertise some kind of design magazine/website to me with an article “The Most Colour-Soaked Home We’ve Ever Seen” and I finally clicked the link and all the pictures were a bunch of white and off-white rooms with a couple of vases and books in bright colours scattered around. Like bitch you’re advertising this to me in Atlantic Canada we don’t do “splashes of colour” we let the floodgates open. Your lame-ass pallid designs have no power here.

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When it’s foggy 350 days of the year, you’ve got to be able to pick out your own house from a distance. 

,,,,Fuck

I almost started crying because?????? They’re so pretty??????????????

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unclefather:

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Me at the Chinese buffet when corona virus is eradicated

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urie:

olivelinen:

not 2 be corny but. sometimes i think my purpose on this earth is to love people, make them laugh, be kind and share joy. that feels like enough to me sometimes

im here to maim and kill but your thing sounds nice too

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作成者
作成者
ffx-2-2:
“wallacepolsom:
“Wallace Polsom, The World Is a Harsh Mistress (2020), paper collage, 18.7 x 26.3 cm.
”
and a marsh hisstress
”

ffx-2-2:

wallacepolsom:

Wallace Polsom, The World Is a Harsh Mistress (2020), paper collage, 18.7 x 26.3 cm.

and a marsh hisstress

作成者

buttpop:

im at a party and i just saw someone dab to cotton eyed joe can someone please come pick me up

作成者

dark-july:

I shall conquer this!

作成者
jaylor:
“why is this so fucking funny to me
”

jaylor:

why is this so fucking funny to me

作成者